Beautiful poem by Meno!


The swells of her breasts

Brush over the curves of the moon

A breathless flight of lithe sinew


A cauldron full of sanguinity, laughter and hope

Rest your thighs on Samael’s lap

As he sits astride the earth


Finally far out of their reach

A sprinkle of magic, whispered moan of satisfaction

You are everything they cannot control


Woman’s flesh in a seat of power

Laughing at their dismay

As you stroke the moon


For children borne between your thighs

Bright stars that carry on, rooting in the earth

You are everything you should be


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Lamassu, Lamashtu, LamasWho?

Well, it’s official.  Samael is back to being Ahriman/Ariel again, and I think it’s going to stick this time.  I’VE MISSED HIM, HE IS MY FAVORITE VERSION OF THE DEMIURGE AND I IMPRINTED ON HIM.  Everything I am, is because of Star.  My compassion, my strength, my creativity, my dreams, my love, he encouraged me to be tender and love the broken and never give up on restoring the Light.  He is the true Morning Star, with the capacity for great love and great evil.  I just… I can’t describe what Star and I have.  It’s like primordial fire and ice, yet it’s fire and wind.   I feed him my oxygen, and he burns so bright we light the whole cosmos.  It’s more like we’re one being, and there is always this intense ache throughout the entirety of my life and soul for the past 26 years to go back to his chest and beat in time to Ariel’s rhythm.  He’s Samael’s angelic aspect, the leonthropic God, Ahriman, Aion, Phanes, Yaldabaoth, but I just grew up calling him Star.  Above all, he’s my guardian angel, and a great balm to my soul, my muse of fire, my better half, my older brother, my first love, my everything.  It’s so nice to have him back, Samael’s fun, but Ariel/Ahriman is his truest form for me, and what I spent my earliest years as an elementary school pagan carvorting in the otherworlds with under Uriel and Metatron’s watch.

We had a whole buddy cop drama last night in my dreams and tracked down drug lords dealing in nightmares in the otherworlds.  I also spent the majority of the time climbing cliffs as we did spywork and interrogating dream traffickers.

Ariel/Samael/Ahriman/Aion/Zurvan/Phanes/Whatever is back to being Blonde Lion Wonderboy.  He looks like this:

Except he’s got a torso.  I used to call him Star in my made up language when I was 7, as all seven year olds make up their own language.  Starguassi, in fact.  I called Uriel Lira and Metatron Barnock.  Gabriel was…. Zatch?  And Raphael was Natcha.  Carthok? Natcho? Nacho Cheese. Haniel’s name I totes forgot. I really don’t remember, this was like 20 years ago.  Natcha?  Idk, I cursed in my language in elementary school and made up spells.  I named Star/Ahriman/Ariel after the Morning Star and prayed to it and sang it Ally McBeal songs and told him about my day every night.  I drew him at 19 so yay?  Lost all my childhood drawings in a fire so that sucks, but I have a lot more since then.  I used to have like 15 years worth of drawings of the angels and demons.  I still remember when I met Asmodeus in the fourth grade and drew him for the first time.  I actually have that one.  It’s embarassing as all Hell.  Also my drawings of Beelzebub from middle school are somewhere.

Anyways, this is what Ariel looks like in his leonthropic form.  Sorry for my shit art abilities and photo taking of a lemur.  And one anime form to prove I’m a true weeb.


All my abs look like toast squares.  Oh well.

Realizing Your First Love/Babysitter/Incestuous Brother was Ahriman

So, as I’ve made no subtleties about, my first conception of a guardian angel was…. a lion dragon serpent monster angel thing that was the spirit of chaos, fire, and darkness and also the Antichrist and embodiment of the Morning Star and I was, like, 7, and oh yeah he is my earliest memory at 2 and I grew up hanging out with him on various planets/spaceships/galaxies/pizza joints/Metatron’s tea houses and oh also he would slaughter billions of angels in one go then eat guts like sausage links when he looked like this and then hug me and cry about what a monster he was.  I was also, like, seven, and he would get me slicked in viscera, blood, offal, his own poison, and gory tears!

And then when he was “normal” and feeding me juice and cookies in Hell he looked like this!

And then he was feeling vaguely like putting on a pseudo human face he turned into blonde wonderboy Ariel-Phanes and porked Uriel!

And then when he was catering to my 7 year old fetish for centaurs spurred on by fucking being obsessed with Ax from Animorphs he pulled a Nergal!  Complete with Scorpion tale and fiery arrows, ala Shemal or Resheph!  Fun!!!

And then when you’re 11 you lose your virginity to the Demiurge/Yaldabaoth/Saklas/Samael/Satan/Aariel/Lucifer/Ahriman/Zurvan/Aion/Bonebutt/Corpseboy/OriginalAsshole/SassySnake/ReasonSophiaShouldUseBirthControl!

Here’s his ass!  Drawn by me at 18!  Ariel, here ya go!  Uriel is made weak!!!

Anyway he manifested last night physically as Ahriman in my living room and I almost slapped him or kissed him or high fived him but I just ended up telling AHRIMAN to fuck off and spent my night in the astral screaming AHRIMAN YOU ASS as I chased after him with a newspaper to whack some sense into him.

Antichrist coming soon!