Realizing Your First Love/Babysitter/Incestuous Brother was Ahriman

So, as I’ve made no subtleties about, my first conception of a guardian angel was…. a lion dragon serpent monster angel thing that was the spirit of chaos, fire, and darkness and also the Antichrist and embodiment of the Morning Star and I was, like, 7, and oh yeah he is my earliest memory at 2 and I grew up hanging out with him on various planets/spaceships/galaxies/pizza joints/Metatron’s tea houses and oh also he would slaughter billions of angels in one go then eat guts like sausage links when he looked like this and then hug me and cry about what a monster he was.  I was also, like, seven, and he would get me slicked in viscera, blood, offal, his own poison, and gory tears!

And then when he was “normal” and feeding me juice and cookies in Hell he looked like this!

And then he was feeling vaguely like putting on a pseudo human face he turned into blonde wonderboy Ariel-Phanes and porked Uriel!

And then when he was catering to my 7 year old fetish for centaurs spurred on by fucking being obsessed with Ax from Animorphs he pulled a Nergal!  Complete with Scorpion tale and fiery arrows, ala Shemal or Resheph!  Fun!!!

And then when you’re 11 you lose your virginity to the Demiurge/Yaldabaoth/Saklas/Samael/Satan/Aariel/Lucifer/Ahriman/Zurvan/Aion/Bonebutt/Corpseboy/OriginalAsshole/SassySnake/ReasonSophiaShouldUseBirthControl!

Here’s his ass!  Drawn by me at 18!  Ariel, here ya go!  Uriel is made weak!!!

Anyway he manifested last night physically as Ahriman in my living room and I almost slapped him or kissed him or high fived him but I just ended up telling AHRIMAN to fuck off and spent my night in the astral screaming AHRIMAN YOU ASS as I chased after him with a newspaper to whack some sense into him.

Antichrist coming soon!

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12 thoughts on “Realizing Your First Love/Babysitter/Incestuous Brother was Ahriman

    • THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!!! I’m not entirely NOT convinced Samael came to me as Ariel/Ahriman and Michael came to me as fucking Aslan because I was obsessed with the Lion King for the entirety of my childhood.

      • Ooo, can you shoot me an email? Does this have something to do with Gideon? I’d be interested to explore the rabbit holes you’re in, because I’m deep in the cosmic lion’s den…

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