Oh my God, I need you, I am wounded as a filet of mincemeat,
ground down on the wheel into bone meal, my soul shards, oh God,
please grant me mercy and serenity, for I am bleeding, open wounded!
Oh God, why the pain, why the hellfire, why the razors to flesh only to feel
like a live wire? What is your plan for me if I am but a vessel of agony? Please,
shine your light upon my wretched soul, for I am lost, razed by violence, and
I am a refugee of thorns, cast out into the wilderness of madness, into bedfellows
of the cursed, beds of blessed not welcome to my wicked ways. My mind is a sinner
on virtue of insane asylums, I nearly drove over the median into oncoming traffic –
I would have taken innocent lives just to end my suffering, it is so much to endure,
I was minutes away from taking a blade to my veins this morning, all because I stood
in the line of fire to protect the innocent and now I have whiplash for being martyred.
There is not much good in this world, and it is dying day by day, from synagogue to pipe bomb.
There is not much left of my garden, and I am a connoisseur of wine stains, from the dregs, where foul odors of tannins and fungus blossom.
At least in decay, I would hibernate, but no, I must endure.
There is not much fair in this world, and I would beget a monster if I ever had one.
Better to be barren. Better to be a slave with a coat hanger shoved into my womb, prying the unborn fetus of my sorrows out my cunt in rivers of wretchedness.
I am the midwife of nightmares, and God, my God, why hast thou forsaken your only daughter?